The story of 2 mats

Hey Best Possies!

Happy Novemberrrr!

If you’re like me, a fall weather lover, you’ve been loving the cool nippy sweater and boots weather, days looking like evening all day, sighing at sights of yellow, brown and red leaves scattered or dancing along street sidewalks….

*happy sigh*

But Anyways, I’m here to tell you a story.

It’s the story of two mats.

Grab your mugs, get your hot cocoa, tea, or coffee…

Read along and enjoy.

So I’m married, yeah *British Accent* and it’s pretty dandy. The bloke is quite the perfect mate for me ‘n all. Nice chap innit.

Lol!!! okay i’m done with the British accent.

Anyways, I love my marriage. It’s glowing and growing in ways I honestly could not have predicted. My husband and I are Two different people who come from two different walks of life, two different backgrounds, two different cultures, two d i f f e r e n t PLANETS! …and boom, decided that somehow someway, we would create a great life together.

Did I mention that uhm we are different. hmmk i did.

We just never thought we would disagree over this.

A mat.

A kitchen mat at that.

Yes.

You’re reading right.

A . Kitchen. Mat.

LOL!!!

For those of you who do not know, my husbae (husband+bae) moved all the way from his perfect nest and state of Texas (*heaves a heavy sigh*) and into our home in sweet chilly fall-weather perfect Pennsylvania (*insert his heavy sigh here*) .

Husbae’s last day in Tx in 2017 before he moved up to PA. He was so sad poor baby!

When he moved up, he gave up quite a bit of eh junk stuff that he accumulated in his single life and so did I, trust me..I gave up so much of my treasures stuff as well… it was painful… we had to. We were creating a new life together so you know…. get over it.

But the ONE thing we could not let go of.. was our kitchen mats. see below please.

Yup. Please guess in the comments whose mat you think is whose?? lol!

Smh. As you can see we just threw in the towel and put both our mats down. And it was what it was. Husbae was NOT going to have his ugly old rugged mat tossed and I was NOT going to have my brand new cute mat tossed either!

Untillll yesterday. November 2nd 2019. 2 years and 3 months of marriage later y’all.

We aka husbae and I, present to you …

Our United Totally Awesome Kitchen Mat !!!

Yup. I know. You might totally be like “LOL! Charlene, you and Steve are nuts.” Really?? We’re cool with that lol! The point of this blog post is this: we chose. together. Not just the mat. But the life we live. Yes, falling in love was so dreamy, planning our wedding, getting married, honeymooning, going on dates, our sweet baby…. it’s all been a sweet sappy romance song honestly. But how many of you that are married KNOWWW that marriage ain’t a one hot song wonder ? *insert iphone eyes emoji* yup I see you church! *insert organ pipes, church mother hmmmm, and piano ding! at the end*

We chose this mat together not because I nagged him to, or dropped subtle or mansion size hints, not because he wanted me to shut up and leave him alone, not because anyone outside of our unit aka society suggested it to us….. but because we wanted to.

Here’s my podium message: A lot of us in this social media blender age are getting side tracked with things that do not matter. Lifestyles & Opinions that do not reflect you & yours.

Stop. Unplug. Reset.

Next time you come to a difficult decision that you and your significant other can not just handle; try letting go. Sometimes you will have a “Two Mat” household lol!!! and that’s okay. Let. GO. If you’re in the mood for Pineapple Fried Rice and he’s in the mood for Red Robin, that’s okay ! If he takes a week to get to chores that take you one day …. *eye twitch* let…go…..

Choose. Joy. Always.

In marriage. In friendship. In service. In life.

Period.

One day, you’ll end up smiling. Not over “won arguments”, “best points”, or “who had the last word” but how you both won because you came together, and chose…together.

Until next time Best Possies,

Peace fingers,

Awele Charlene A.

Philipians 4: 8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

How to Treat a New Mommy

Hi Best Possies !

 

So….I’m a Mommy!!! Whaa..? You didn’t know??  I totally made that announcement here

But anyhoo, I love saying those words so much !

I’m A Mommyyyy!   

Like I, Me… am a mother to a whole yummy human… my Sweet Baby !!  LOL! My hubs loves to poke fun at me when I say that “I have a whole human..”. But do I mind him? No…

 

Anyways I digress.

 

Sidenote: Mommy Brain is REALLLL!!! Air kiss and iphone emoji awkward face sorry to everyone I owe a call, text, hangout, all’at. Maybe after you read this blog you will totally feel a pitter patter in your cardiac region for me and every new mommy out there.

 

So, being a new mommy is honestly, truly, NO JOKES… one of the hardest things in this life. hands down.

 

Guys I’ve studied for the MCATS, gone to Nursing School, done p90x and insanity workouts… I’ve gone through the long stressful and arduous process of saving up for and buying a home… I am a trauma nurse… blah blah…. nothing compares to motherhood. Nothing!

 

Do I love it? Absollluuuteellly.

 

Do I have down to a perfect science? Ha ha ha. Extra Ha!

Motherhood is like a lifelong class that you just keep being present for whether you like it or not and you just keep learning and getting better hopefully and honestly…

 

Iphone shrug emoji

 

Motherhood is an amazing path… But I have noticed something terribly appalling along the way.

Some PEOPLE do NOT really know how to treat/talk to new mothers!!!

 

Crazy face meme

 

Like its 2019 !!! Come onnnn people!

 

But calm down, I got you per usual.  Trust me!! it was not until I became a Mom that I realized that I TOO have committed some of these faux-pas I mention below! Didn’t anybody tell me though.  But like I said. 

I got you boo.

 

Grab something cool to drink and let’s gooo…..

How to Treat A New Mommy!

  1. Realize what is going on – don’t be ignorant! Don’t ask to visit a new mom at weird dumb hours like you used to when she was sans bump ! Yes she used to be a par-ty animal but she has a whole child now. BE considerate. Also don’t ask dumb things like “when are you having another one?” or stare awkwardly at her belly that isnt flat like Beyonce’s. Chile’ we don’t all have personal dietitians and trainers !!!  

 

  1. Offer love, encouragement and kind words.   ALWAYS.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            We new mothers do not get tired of hearing that we are strong.  Truth be told, we mostly do NOT feel strong. I know, personally, the first few weeks after I gave birth to my sweet baby, I was in pain, I felt shapeless, engorged, and just u-g-l-y (you dont got no alibi…remember that rhyme ? ok im done). I was happy! don’t get me wrong…and so grateful. but it was the kind words of encouragement from my community that kept me from going under.  

 

(sidenote: you guys know who you all are. I love you ALL).

 

  1. INCLUSION:   Always remember to ask after us mamas too. Yess the baby is flipping cute and adorable, yesss ! But we exist too, ya dig? That invitation to that brunch with friends? Invite us! Even if we very well might say No…Uhm  Still !   Hello, we are proper humans too !                                                                                                                                                             

 

  1. Really listen & Really care. We just came off a truly earth-moving mind blowing experience. We internally (or externally) scream in the bathroom after we get naked. LOL!  A whole human lived in us for a LONG TIME and now is earth side.  Trust me, as a new mom with heightened emotions, we can tell who is really FOR us and who is just trying to get a baby selfie and be on their way.  We’re too tired sometimes to respond. 

 

     (please stay tuned to the end of this blogpost for shout out real examples of this point!) 

 

  1. Give her a break –   Ask  “How can I help” and mean it ! – and we need help. Thank God for grandmas, grandpas, aunties and uncles.  For me, my sweet mommy in love was up for a short time before she had to go back to work.  Except for you have a live-in situation, people leave.  And Mama’s are by themselves.  And MOST times, baby ONLY wants MAMA.  So when you visit…. Get her water, Cook, Clean, Laundry, Get groceries, Buy food or a snack….. (I have a whole new blog post on this for sure). 

 

  1. Prepare for the unexpected – sometimes we will fall asleep, sometimes the visit will abruptly end because of a poopy explosion or a sleepy baby or she’s hungry or we might suddenly get engorged and need to pump…. our new lives are honestly unpredictable.  I have found that the best thing to say in these circumstances is “how can i help?”  or “are you okay?”.  

 

  1. Pray for us–  Truly ! There is nothing more touching than being covered in true earnest prayer from a kind genuine soul. It goes a long way. 

 

 

So.. Which one…or two… will you do today!?

 

Until next time,

Peace fingers!

Awele Charlene M-A

 

 

 

 

Shout outs: 

–My best friend Nik sent me an AMAZING face care kit when I gave birth to my sweet baby, and I cried like a baby when it came in the mail.  (hormones!) She really listened to me complain about how pregnancy took a toll on my skin color and came to my rescue. I love you my forever sisterbae!   

 

–My sister, Winnie, came over one day and sent me away promptly to get a massage.  I never told her I cried and cried before I left the car, just overwhelmed with LOVE. (again, hormones!)

 

–Or My sister Mimi who brought a suitcase and FOOD and stayed over a weekend with me and baby! 

 

— Or my sissy in love, Bee, who brought my favorite snacks & stayed over to help with me and baby!

 

–Or my hubby who takes the baby and sends me to go self-care and relax!   

 

–Or my Snizz from philly who brought me food or my Mo who would just sit and gist with me!

 

I could go ONNNN and ONNNN….. but These are just a FEW of MANNNY ways I have and still receive love from my community!!!) 

 

THANK  YOU!!!!

We rocked it out August!

Hiiii loves!!

*scream!!**

The year is almost over!!

**iphone emoji shocked face!**

Lol! Question 1.) why do I always like to scream? 2.) you guys can tell I have an iphone and I use my emoji’s quite often right?

Lol!!

Okay! Right to it! How was your August?? Yes, We’re still on the Best Possible Me Monthly Check-in and I really hope you all are enjoying your Year so far ! Seriously it is my hope and joy that Month by Month you experience amazing things, people, places, food… just Amazingness all around ! #BPM Yasssss!

So, July was crazy awesome right? Click here and read all about it if you haven’t! But guys, seriously, going into the month, I was nervous… like What if…? Trust me I know you all think that too.  What if this month doesnt work out? What if work is harder than I thought? What if  I am not financially secure? Just what if!??  But thank God I remember that duhh, I serve a God that tells me time and time again not worry about anything but to pray over everything.

           “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God”    Philippians 4:6

Keeping this verse and others too in my mind, I declared over August that it would be a month of PEACE and JOY! and boyyyy was it!!   So here were my goals, and hey now ! I accomplished 100% of them ! Whooo!!!!!!

Personal Goals

  • Go somewhere new – I went to an amazing movie theater with friends and the experience was wonderful!  It was like I was in bed. with my blanky. and a button to push for unlimited popcorn. Myyyy my my.  How come I never knew about this before?  two thumbs up !!!

    what an experience. Fun!

    blurry but what an experience. Fun!

  • Do something new – Paint Night – Check out my skills tho! This is on sale for $499.99. Let me know if you’re interested. LOL!!  okay im half kidding.

    image3

    Lil’ Picassos. Mi amours !

  • Meet someone new– heyyy new friends at work !  A genuine smile and “how are you” goes a long way

For Others

  • Help someone new – While I could not physically participate in the Homeless Initiative, my amazing roomie held down the fort and created over 100 goodie bags for the homeless!!  It was awesome!!! I also kept snacks in my car for anyone I saw with a sign who maybe needed some food.  This works if you do not feel comfortable giving money but check with your local authorities because sadly, some states are making it illegal to feed the homeless.  *sad face*.

– I also helped my co-workers !

giving

Giving is so much fun. You end up being SO blessed as well as blessing someone

  • Support my friends – A friend and an awesome brother to me had a comedy performance in Jersey and I as well as my friends supported him. It was a hilarious night to say the least.  I also had a ball attending a beautiful friend’s bridal shower. The countdown is on, Abby!!

    This guy is a star !

    This guy is a star !

So happy for the Bride-to-be! Nigerian Weddings are always a blast !

So happy for the Bride-to-be! Nigerian Weddings are always a blast !

For Family

  • Go above and beyond – If I saw a need, I stepped up.  Whether it was getting groceries for an aunt, surprising my sisters with lunch, listening to a friend in need, staying past clock-out time at work, I kept praying for opportunities to do more ! and God did not disappoint.
  • Family time – Family time is everything to me and I loved my breakfast/lunch dates with my sisters!  plus I took my cutie siblings, JJ and Armani to the movies and they loved it!
  • sibling love

    My hearts.

Whoo!!! I feel so accomplished and I truly enjoyed my August! It was fantastic !! Memories ontop of memories. I am so grateful for this life God has given me, truly. Now your goals might have been just one simple thing or it could have been a long laundry list. Whatever the case might be, I encourage you to get out there and really ENJOY life !  Setting goals does not have to be stressful and you can start out light.

There are so many places in your city to be explored, people to meet, quests to conquer, and FUN to be had…. and it’s alllll waiting on you.

So…..

You Ready?

Hey now, that’s the spirit.

I’ll see you later for BPM September Edition.

In the mean time,

Peace fingers,

Charlene

watch the August reel here !